Lemonade

When life gives you lemons...

We've all heard it one way or the other: try and make the best out of the given situation. God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Turning bitter into sweet requires some form of sweet substance. So how do you expect me to make lemonade with just lemons hm? When Beyoncé released the master piece that was lemonade, I was intrigued by the five stages of grief. It took me going through a rough and sour patch myself to really appreciate lemonade and its intense flavor.

Why is it that we like to listen to songs that trigger the emotions we're feeling? Listening to something hard when we are mad. Listening to heartbreak R&B (the old school kind please) when our hearts have been ripped apart by someone we thought would never do that to us. But seriously: how do we make life sweet when everything about it is so bitter?

A couple of years back there was just me, Maame. What I had to worry about was coming home late, taking the stairs instead of the elevator to avoid making any noise, turning that key in the door as quiet as possible and praying to God that no one would notice me coming home after my curfew which was close to impossible considering there was a time when my dad set my curfew at 8 pm - guys, I was 19- but back to what I was saying about the rough patch: Now, I am not just Maame. I am a creator, I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a student-- Trying to get that degree and having deadlines thrown at me like I am a basketball hoop. Juggling it all is stressful even though there is help from every corner which I am eternally grateful for, I still have plenty of moments where it gets quite overwhelming, standing in the shower and crying kind of overwhelming. It's like one day, I opened my front door and there was a bunch of lemons being thrown at me, no delivery guy with a package from amazon, just lemons. Life had a bitter taste to it, a taste that wouldn't decline in intensity, there seemed to be nothing at hand to neutralise it. So what I asked myself was: how can I sweeten my life? Because let's face it, I didn't come to this life to suffer.

Chop life, make life no go chop you.

I made a conscious decision to enjoy life. Everyday. Enjoy the little things, even when there are big problems looking me dead in the eyes saying "look at me, I'm the captain now." I do something nice for myself even if it seems minor in some peoples eyes, like making myself a virgin mojito, trying out a new recipe, going out with a friend, having playtime, cuddle time with my Lala or a movie night with papichulo and the list goes on and on.

I think about what I am grateful for. Write it down and the more I write and think about the good things that are happening, I can't help but smile. There is a sweetness to finding joy in the middle of a storm. I have a sister friend (shout out to my Sistina) no matter what kind of drama we have going on, we will always find a moment to laugh, even if we sound crazy af and I love us for that.

However when there are a lot of lemons being thrown at us, thinking about the good things in our lives can be damn near impossible. I am struggling and you're telling me to think about the things I'm grateful for?? How?! If you're like me, then sometimes when you're wallowing in self pity you want to wallow in peace, feel sorry for yourself and whine about it in peace. Because sometimes that is just what is needed to feel better, crying it out, complaining about the problems and letting it all out. Acknowledging there is a problem is a step closer to solving it which is far better than the alternative that is acting like everything is alright and secretly dying inside. Be honest: how many times have you said "I'm fine." when you were not fine at all? Did it make you feel better? I'm guessing not.

So what can we do when life gives us lemons? We could politely decline. Make lemon cake. Use it to clean our water heater. Garnish our drinks with it. Use it to make detox water. Take some salt and tequila and well you know the rest. Grab honey or brown sugar or agave syrup and mint leaves to make lemonade. there are endless variations as to what to do with lemons. Same as with metaphorical lemons, there are endless variations as to what to do with life's issues and problems, it is up to us to figure out what to do with it. Maybe it's turning it all into lyrics and releasing a fire album, who knows? Whatever way you may choose, just make sure you put your mental, spiritual and physical health first.

Love,

Maame