Falling

Fall - the season of everything pumpkin spice from lattes to candles to pies. Trees change colors and if you’re fortunate enough you’ll even experience the beauty of the Indian summer, when the colors of leaves range from golden brown to orange to amber and when the sun shines just enough for it to not feel like winter.

Each season teaches us something. But I think fall is the season that has taught me the most. Showing me that there is beauty in change. Beauty in change, sounds paradox doesn’t it?

There is a season for everything but do you ever sit there and wonder when your season is coming? You know, the season of growth and beauty and success and  basically everything great? We watch seasons come and go, some great and some as awful as they come and even though we may celebrate small and big victories, sometimes it seems like there are multiple seasons of drought; when you have been at a certain stage for what feels like forever, when everyone else seems to be in their season of success and blessings in overflow and you’re just - well how do I put it - there. Sitting where you have sat for the past years, putting in the work but not seeing the big results that were promised to you in the 1001 podcasts and ted talks and motivational videos you watched and listened to. So one can’t help but ask themselves: what in the world am I doing wrong? Is greatness just not in the cards for me? To top it off the weather is giving very much indecisive vibes and time is moving fast, way too fast for my liking (I could swear we just said happy new year a couple of weeks ago).

While summer was all fun and games, fall is the season that makes us take a step back and think. It’s the more serious sister of summer and will have you go from hot girl summer to sad girl fall in a heartbeat. Now, it doesn’t have to be depressing in here but it is important to feel all the feels and then really get to the root of the issues at hand. People’s success is often advertised, put up on billboards and posted numerous times on our feeds, literally being rubbed in our faces. It’s very seldom that failure gets the same energy. That does not mean it is not happening, daily. Getting to the mountain top is celebrated and glorified, the climb not so much and even less the fall. Let’s be real here for a second: how many times have you fallen? Flat on your face, on your way to a destination, to a goal? Did it hurt? In my case, yes it did. Did I cry? Very very likely yes buckets of tears. Did I stay down? To be honest, I did. I didn’t get up in the very second I fell, my body and the ground even became friends and for a while  it felt like I was a part of the ground I had fallen on and my body was just waiting to be swallowed by the earth. I had bruises and cuts and everything was painful and then there was the thought of someone seeing that I fell, and the shame that kept me down.. What I didn’t realize then is that people who saw me on the ground, reached out to help me up and inquired if I was alright. The important people that is, the not so important ones laughed or made fun of me. Sounds familiar?

We have all fallen at one point or the other. Some may be mid fall, some have hit the ground hard and have no desire to get back up again and others are slowly gathering their strength to stand on their two feet again. There is a season for everything. Numerous scenarios, an endless possibilities of outcomes. What I have learned is not to be too hard on myself, when my self induced pressure is threatening to crush me, I try and stay grounded in gratitude and lift the burden off my shoulders, something that sometimes only we can do for ourselves, no one else. Sometimes, we have to put on our own capes and be our own super hero, we all have it in us, no matter what anyone else says.

Maybe you’re down and not feeling like putting on a damn cape and that’s okay. 

Falling does not necessarily mean the end, it is the same with when leaves fall of a tree that is not the end of the tree on the contrary it is the start of a new season. Nature and its endless parallels to our own lives right? What I’m trying to say is that our leaves won’t always be green, strength is sometimes not easy to gather, and even though it may look like all the odds are against us right now, we never know what this season of drought will teach you. And whatever lesson it may be, I am willing to learn and understand. 

Love,

Maame.