One In a Million
I don’t know about you but I got so emotional when I saw that Aaliyah’s music was coming on all streaming services, I mean YouTube was getting tired of me and I was getting tired of playing music videos and not being able to get out of the app while doing so. Of course on Friday, the 20th I woke up early to just sit there and listen to her sweet soft voice, catapulting me back to simpler times and to the one I dedicated most of her songs to, belting it out of my lungs like I was singing at the Grammys. Singing the words like I penned them. One of the songs that still hits hard is One in a Million, how coincidental then that the same titled album is the one that was released first. On that note: baby girl forever!
Baby you don’t know what you do to me…
I am from the time where we wrote song lyrics in our msn bio or had the song that was most on our hearts on myspace. Throwing it way back I was the girl that had CD’s full of songs that spoke to me. Forget a music post on instagram, have you ever had someone make you a CD or even better created your own CD, and embellished it with a marker? Shout out to lime wire.
There are songs that go straight to your heart, lyrics that stay on your heart, making you feel all the feels. These songs more often than not, take you back to a fond memory, an unforgettable moment, oftentimes making you smile and giving you a joyful feeling. Of course, when I first listened to one in a million I had no idea of the kind of love Aaliyah was speaking about. On the contrary: I had had crushes, boys that I found cute but not that deep deep kind of love, that one in a million kind of love.
Reality check…
The couple that is considered goals, is probably going through it and that is okay, it is not everyday sunshine and walk on the beach. Whoever said relationships were easy, was downright lying. The relationship with self is sometimes complicated enough, through the many stages we go through in life and the changes that happen within us and around us, it is no surprise that dealing with self can be a daunting task, how much more dealing with someone that lives outside of your body, with a whole different mind and thoughts that you cannot possibly know just by looking at them?
You find a special someone and things are going well the honeymoon phase where every word sounds like honey molasses, every character trait is sweet, their love is tasty and you cannot get enough of them. Sound familiar? And then slowly the honey is going out and you notice certain things; the way they express or don’t express their emotions, the way they behave under pressure, the way they communicate or don’t communicate, the way they treat you, speak to you, the way they treat others. True character exposes itself and you see traits about yourself that aren’t that great either, now it is not flowing like it used to and you have to put in work. Sometimes it is then that you realise that the person or the relationship is not for you, it might not be worth the work and other times it is at that breaking point that you realise that this is worth it.
That one in a million love that Aaliyah sang about was not just about the other person pouring their love and their effort in, it was about her pouring it in too.
Seeing the potential is not enough, there needs to be a willingness to work toward a better us and it shouldn’t be one sided.
After years of being together, things can fall apart when there is one person putting in all the work, eventually it gets tiring, you get exhausted and frustrated and just can’t take it anymore. And then there is the other side of showing up for each other, working through difficulties and mutually supporting one another in everything. What I have learned over time is that it is not a one day thing, you don’t just communicate for a week and everything is fine. You work, not a 9 to 5 and not for money but for a better you, for a better life, for peace of mind and a peace within, for growth that brings fruits, sweeter than honey.
Ask any farmer and they will tell you how a bountiful harvest comes along not by luck, not by chance, but through work.
On that note: don’t look at what others are doing specifically what they are posting because a post is just that; a picture, a moment without the before and without the after especially without the behind the scenes.
Homie, Lover, Friend
When you do find someone great or have someone great, be their friend first and their lover next. And make sure that you’re the same for them too. I am by no means an expert on relationships just have a little experience and as always I’m journaling out loud.
Love always,
Maame
