Motivation

I am going to be fully transparent here and just let the cat out of the bag: Finding motivation to do anything these past couple of weeks and months has been difficult. Have you been feeling like that too, or is it just me?

I have looked for motivation everywhere, underneath my bed, in my journal, in the park, in other people, in books, on podcasts, on Instagram and Twitter, hell even on Tumblr and I just can’t seem to find it. It seems like now that we are in the fourth and last quarter of the year,  other people’s motivation has been sparked and fuelled and is ready for take off while I can’t even find the on and off button to get things heated in the first place, my motivational engine sounding like a dying rat.

Writing feels empty, cooking is not as fun as it used to, my productivity doesn’t produce anything, dressing up and going out is exhausting (is anybody else living in hoodies right now and just unbothered about getting all fine and fancy or am I the only one?) and being creative just doesn’t feel as authentic and as passionate as it used to, I’m in a rut that I don’t particularly like being in.

But looking at my situation and having had enough time to throw plenty pity parties, including a bag of salted chips and my all time favourite ginger beer and feeling sorry for myself, made me see that the reason why I was lacking motivation was because I had stopped challenging myself. I had gotten comfortable and very cozy and content and had stopped living under the motto of "no risk, no fun". And had started living under the motto: "I am here, aren’t I"? There was no carpe in my diem, just the day and no seizing of it.

My hair is oftentimes the best indicator to show people close to me how unbothered I am - yes I am not ashamed to say that I skipped wash day a couple of days (maybe weeks?) and that my satin bonnet became my friend and companion and we were very much inseparable. It starts with my hair and then goes on to basic tasks, and then moves on to me canceling appointments because there is just a lack of motivation to do anything. I know I can’t be the only one. But instead of blaming it on the season we are in, the cold weather, and the fact that covid-19 has turned into an uninvited houseguest that just doesn’t seem to get the clue that it is time to leave and let us live our lives in whatever peace there is to find, I decided to challenge myself. Challenging yourself can look different for everyone. It can be meeting up with people; and no Netflix doesn’t count, and socialising (commenting underneath someones picture on social media doesn’t count either), it can be setting aside a few minutes a day to breathe, to stretch. It can be cooking or baking something you haven’t done before. It can be having a hair regimen and sticking to it. It can be picking up journaling again or another book, or picking up that camera that has been collecting dust and creating whatever you want to create, it can be a to do list that you work on over time, it can be as small or as big as you please. What I am trying to say is that challenging yourself can be anything you want it to be as long as it gets you out of the rut and onto the highway of motivation. Deciding to throw pity parties and to not move an inch, is deciding to form a habit that will eventually cost us more than what we bargained for. And what fun is a one man party that is all about sulking and feeling sorry for oneself? 

I won’t lie it has been hard finding motivation, it has been hard challenging myself with all that is going on in the world you just want to hide under your blanket and wait for the monsters to leave the room but that is not how it works right? Things will only start to work when we put in the work. No matter how cliché that may sound, it is the truth.

What I want to know is how do you find motivation? Especially in the times we are living in right now and with what seems to be lockdown 2.0 around the corner? 

Love,

Maame