If You're Reading This, It's Not Too Late
I was used to settling because my eyes couldn’t look further than what was right in front of me.
You need to see the big picture, is what I am told very often but how do I see the big picture when everything seems blurry? The life we live is built on decisions; when we are kids the most important decisions are made for us what we will eat, when we go to bed, what school we attend etc. but the more we grow up and step into adulting, the decisions we make can no longer be pushed off unto our parents or the people taking care of us it is now up to us, we are in charge. It happens faster for some than it does for others, but it will happen one way or the other.
We associate decision making with freedom, we are in charge of our lives and can do whatever we please without any restrictions. But if you’re adulting right now you know that this freedom I speak of also brings its own set of rules and restrictions. Sure, you can choose to not go to work and stay at home but rent won’t be paid, there will be no food on the table and the clothes you’re so fond of will not be able to be bought when there is no money to do it with. We can choose to just have a lazy week, but being unproductive won’t help us in any shape, way or form when it comes to growing and glowing.
Some of us make decisions that are uncomfortable, while others make decisions that are way too comfortable; here comes the settling part. Have you ever settled for something? Settled for a mediocre job, settled for a relationship, settled for a friendship, settled for less because more just seemed a little too out of the box and too intimidating? It is okay if you say yes, because I was the queen of settling. Now I settle every once in a while and try not to do it as habitually as I did in my early to mid twenties. With the amount of settling I did, I could have built an entire city. I settled with everything because the other option was just too scary for me. Why would I go for the unknown when the known was just so comfortable? Picture this: you, in your bed with the coziest blanket ever. The alarm goes off and you know you have to get up and get ready but your bed is just so comfortable you decide to stay in it, you hit the snooze button for the fifth time and then you decide to just turn off the alarm in total, missing your very important appointment that you should have attended. That is what settling is, at least that is what it did to me. I missed opportunities and delayed my blessings all on my own because it was just easier at the moment. After the long run easy has the tendency to become a clutch, something that weighs you down, what was easy can turn into being difficult in a matter of moments, months sometimes even years. The cost of settling? It is being stuck, not moving forward and getting so comfortable, that you’ll be in total shock when you realize how much time, money, strength and energy you wasted on something that shouldn’t have taken half of what it took. But if you’re reading this, it’s not too late.
Do not settle. Ever.
Is what the post it on my wall says. After I had gone through a long period of settling, I promised myself to not do that anymore, not to be the kind of person that goes for what is easy not because it is good for me but because I am too scared and intimated to go for what is right for me. Greatness and settling do not co-exist. Making the decision to move on and move forward from previous destructive habits is one step into the right direction. Actually moving on and moving forward is another step and the more steps we take, the easier it becomes. The good news here is: we will not remain settlers forever, unless we decide to do so. Adulting can be fun, but it is not all fun and games. It is making decisions that will affect us in the long run and sometimes it is not just us being affected by our decisions. On that note: choose wisely.
Love,
Maame