Don't Touch My Hair
Don't touch my hair, when it's the feelings I wear.
Solange
We have all been there, some more than others. The uncomfortable situation of having to tell someone to get their fingers out of our hair.. sounds familiar?
We have experienced it at school, at uni, at work, in places as random as the supermarket with the hands of a complete stranger being drawn to our hair, you would think it's magnetic.
The universal answer to someone asking to touch your hair? NO. That's it. That's the answer.
If I could get a coin for every time I told someone to please not touch my hair or for me replying "no" to the question: "oh your hair looks so fluffy can I touch it?" And the confused faces that followed after my reply, I would be rich rich.
Touching someone's hair without approval is similar to someone walking up to you, reaching out their fingers (wherever they may have been prior to the action they're about to take) and stroking your eyelashes, maybe even leaving one finger on them for a short amount of time. Sounds uncomfortable right? Highly inappropriate and a complete invasion of privacy right? It is also very probably not hygienic (no offense to anyone, but I really do not know where your hands have been prior to you wanting to give my scalp a massage I didn't ask for).
It is a struggle that many black women and men face on a daily. One that may seem minor to some and probably even a little exaggerated. Others however would snap their fingers in approval. To get a little more insight, here are the answers I got when I did a questionnaire on Instagram asking "How do you feel about people touching your hair?"
- It's rude af! Especially when they do it without asking.
- Just don't! It's very degrading, I am not an animal.
- I hate it (was the most common reply)
- I feel annoyed.
- I feel like it's an invasion of my private space, especially if it's a stranger.
- Please, just don't do it.
- Oily hands at your own risk!
- Don't even try.
- I didn't spend 30 minutes on my hair, for someone to mess it up.
- I hate random people touching my hair.
- Dodge, give them the look and sing don't touch my hair by Solange
Love,
Maame