I Deserve It All
* listens to “man at the garden” once *
Some of us grew up thinking whatever we had was undeserving. Success wasn’t celebrated enough (or at all) and many times we were told that we could always do one better. You get an A on your report card and your parents somehow found out it is possible to get an A+, so they ask you for the missing plus sign, like you hid it somewhere in your backpack just for the fun of it.
Never truly stopping to celebrate the wins, whether small or big, but always thinking that we had to do better. These thoughts transcended into our behavior, into our habits and made us think that whatever we had, we didn’t deserve. Hello imposter syndrome? Now at my big age is when I am learning to be proud of myself for every single achievement (yes as little as getting out of bed and making the bed in the morning). To think outside the perfectly crafted and embellished little box I have created for myself, as if that small box could contain my greatness. Now, I wake up and tell myself that I do, as a matter of fact, deserve it all (and yes, I am saying this in Kendrick Lamar’s voice because “man at the garden” should be considered an affirmation, for everyone who needs to remember how deserving they truly are).
So I thought to myself: what if stopped making myself smaller than I was and instead embraced the giant I had locked away? I had been walking on my knees to distract from my height, hurting myself , scraping my knees in the process, and messing up my posture. Why bleed when you can bloom?
I had been used to being a chameleon adapting to my surroundings, confining myself to spaces that weren’t for me but I thought I didn’t deserve any better. What makes me special? In a world full of very talented people, in a world of child prodigies, in a world of lists like Forbes 30 under 30’s.. a world that inhabits 8.2 billion people!
YOU, make you special. Even though there is nothing new under the sun, there is no one on earth who is like you. There might be doppelgängers roaming on the other side of the planet somewhere, people doing similar things as you, someone whose voice resembles yours a lot, someone who wears their hair just like you, someone who is often mistaken as your sibling, but the secret ingredient that makes a whole lot of difference is you. So why not believe that you really do deserve it all? The great career, the happy home, the loving relationships, the beautifully rooted friendships, the healthy mind and body, the money, power, respect (wow I’m on a roll here, if you don’t get the reference never mind). Today, tomorrow and every day after let’s replace the seeds of doubts with seeds of abundance and watch the tree grow and bear juicy, incredibly tasty and colorful fruits. Let’s affirm together: I deserve it all. Let’s write it in our journals, let’s say it to the reflection in the mirror, let’s whisper it to ourselves when we need extra reassurance while in public spaces, let’s add it to our prayers, let’s shout it from the top of our lungs.
I believe the first step of manifesting something is putting it on paper or on screens however you choose to do it. Write down in detail what you know you deserve and go for it, begin to live it before you even have it, let it be your truth and watch it become your reality. Don’t shy away or limit yourself because you’ve been conditioned to think that being deserving of everything is some form of greed or pride. It is not, believe me. On the contrary it is an act of faith, a sign of confidence, a step towards purpose.
Okay now, say it with me: I deserve it all. I deserve it all. I deserve it all.
Love,
Maame
