BLACK WOMEN

I wrote a book and ran out of pages. Too many words, too little paper.

Maame Marion

This is a black woman appreciation post.

I am a black woman. Standing in my womanhood and my blackness is something that took time. Mainly because Eurocentric features were praised and considered to be the ultimate goal. If you were called pretty, it was phrased in a way that was still an insult to black girls and black women in general: You’re pretty for a black girl. 

As if to say that being pretty was not one of the attributes that we associate with black women; if you were pretty, eyebrows were raised and there was a nod of acknowledgement and disbelief at the same time because it meant “you have to be mixed with something” sidenote: that something had to have something white in it.

Expressing our opinion didn’t mean we were opinionated or intelligent. On the contrary: it meant we were angry, loud, big mouthed even as far as being called disrespectful. Hence the narrative of the angry black woman. Who was just difficult and not as easy going as sweet Sally from next door. Talk about being misunderstood. 

To top it off, this image persisted through media, movies, series hell even books. Now through social media it seems like any and everyone can just say whatever they want without thinking twice and certainly without thinking about the implications it brings. 

But the image that is being portrayed is certainly not who we are.

Black women say something because they have something to say. We are pretty period. We are strong but also hella soft and there is not just one side to us but plenty of beautiful facets that people do not speak about. If we are praised for anything it is when we behave like mothers. Tend to needs and mend your needs. When we sacrifice and carry everyone else on our backs. But that is not why we exist, making sure you’re okay is not the purpose or sole purpose of our existence. 

That is not why we should be praised. We are more than cross bearers and hustlers for our families. We are more than the image some very bitter and if I may say so insecure people drew of us. 

We are smart, intelligent. We love to be pampered (it’s not everyday strong strong strong) we can be sensitive, maybe look beyond the surface and go a little deeper, than the mediocre digging you’ve been doing. We deserve luxury without being scrutinised for it. Black women are more than their pain and struggles. Black women are joy and peace. We are the flavor in your stew. If some of us have turned bitter it’s because of all the poison that’s been fed to us and all the lemons that have been thrown at us. I mean, what do you expect ? 

So as a black woman I am writing this to every black woman. The ones that are fed up with the way society has been treating us, the way black men have been treating us. Go and treat yourself sis. You deserve it. 

To the ones that do not know their worth because they’ve been told over and over again how worthless they are, I say you’re worthy of everything good, everything great. If they won't praise you, praise yourself. Or better yet, step into the circle of black women and be showered with praises. We got you!

Love,

Maame