Friends
No foes, real friends, we ain't even got to pretend.
Beyoncé
Drake said no new friends and I’m still contemplating whether it came from a place of hurt or experience. Meeting new people is always exciting, the honeymoon phase of friendship when you share, over share, over trust and over do it.
It is all great until in some cases it isn’t and you’re asking yourself how in the world did you let them into your world, did you not see who they really were? Were you blind to the incompatibility? We have all been there, don’t stress yourself. As I am growing older and many of you who have been through it with friends and the trust that’s broken and the hurt that can come along with it, I have learned that not everyone we are cool with is necessarily our friend. In our teenage years we don’t have a friend zone filter everyone and their mama is our friend. The more the merrier right? Not. Right. Not right at all. We want everyone to like us. Everyone to know us. Until our business that is strictly ours but our mouth made someone else’s, is all over the internet, all over private phone calls, and group chats. Sounds familiar?
Quality over quantity.
So then I ask myself do we stop being friendly and open to new friendships because we were burned one or five hundred times?
The beauty of experience is to learn from it and take a different route so we don’t end up where we were.
Maame Marion
I started taking a different approach, my open heart was still open just not for everyone until I felt peace. There were signs I had ignored in the past, things like the person not being able to hold and keep other longterm friendships or their constant negativity all day and night long (because we are protecting our space now, hand me the sage please and thank you) I also looked at the people I attracted and why I was attracting a certain kind. What was it that I had to work on regarding myself, because we are not pointing fingers at others without pointing them at ourselves first. Looking in the mirror is essential because sometimes it is not the other person doing you, it’s you doing yourself. I have learned and fell a couple of times because I used to need people around to help me feel whole, help me feel validated. Brb going to hug my younger self real quick.
I understand champagne papi but I also say yes to new friends at the same time because eventually we all learn from and grow from what doesn’t do us right and there are some friendships that come along when you least expect it and can change your life for the better. Just as there are other friendships that come around and never leave. Guard your heart and Choose wisely.
Love,
Maame